Mom and I took the kids to the mall today looking for some summer clothes for the kids. As any mom knows, a trip to the mall with two young children involves a lot of give and take. We get to shop at two stores, they get to check out the giant fish tank at Nordstrom. We get to shop at one store, they get to play at the mall play area. How I loathe the mall play area. And its not just because its filled with germs and is loud and is dangerous. Its because everytime we are there, there is at least one psycho kid that ends up stalking one of my children the entire time. Today it was a little boy, about four, who attached himself to Dylan right away and took to screaming nonsense words in his face at the top of his lungs. And I mean screaming. Dylan was annoyed and kept coming to me asking 'what do I do?' and I kept telling him just walk away, just walk away, while trying to figure out of the corner of my eye who his mother was. This little screamer maniac was relentless and would not be deterred. His mom was just sitting on the bench, staring into space, as her son screamed away. Just sitting by herself, not even having to attend to any other children. Hello, hello - are you there? Do you hear your child screaming two inches from my child's face? Do you have a bad coffee hangover and just can't be bothered? Finally we just left.
Moving right along... At said mall, we decided to check out some women's swimsuits. Is there anything more depressing than trying on swimsuits in April, when you are at your pastiest whitest white, and all those post (and pre) baby pounds are just amplified by the florescent lighting, and you wistfully remember that your boobs used to fit nicely in the bathing suit cup formed area but now you have to hand lift them up into the area and nestle them in like two guinea pigs? I mean, if stores were smart, they'd serve alcohol in their dressing rooms this time of the year to give us all the confidence only a couple of cocktails can muster. We'd think we looked great, we'd buy two of everything, and everyone would be happy!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
its all making sense
The differences between our two boys are striking. There are many similarities as well. But its the differences that have gotten our attention in particular. I know as a parent you aren't supposed to compare your two children, and instead focus on their uniqueness. And we do.
However, very early on we noticed Logan was, to use a broad term, strong willed. It wasn't just that we needed to start putting him in time-outs pretty much from the time he started walking. It wasn't just that he seemed to tantrum at the drop of a hat mutiple times a day. It wasn't that you could almost never put him in a stroller or exersaucer and expect him to stay happy for more than two minutes. It wasn't just that he will only eat particular foods. It wasn't just that he seems act out with aggressive behaviors like hitting and biting. Its so many more things. I've written several times before that we are having him seen at Kennedy Krieger by a child psychologist/behavioralist. Initially we talked to our pediatrician about concerns of speech delay but its really evolved into more behavioral related issues. We are both firm believers that the earlier you can shape your children's behavior to what is acceptable, the easier it will be in the long run for everyone. And ultimately, the happier your child and whole family will be. So we have been trying to find help for him and taking the bits and pieces of information that seem to make the most sense and applying them to our life with him.
We are in the thick of dealing with his various behaviors right now and it isn't easy. And one thing we are pursuing for him is occupational therapy. Up until this week, when the occupational therapist came, I had very little understanding of what is it they do. But as we sat and talked with her and answered her questions about Logan, it all started making sense. It was, to quote Oprah, an "Ah ha!" moment.
She told us Logan, who has hypotonia (low muscle tone), also has an immature sensory system, which is formally called sensory processing disorder. He has very little control over his impulses (common for his age but his is beyond the norm) and as a result, he is living every emotion to its fullest and often can't stop himself from crying. He is also always tripping and running into things, and is generally just very clumsy. This is also related to underdeveloped sensory systems.
He has also always been a poor sleeper. He'll willingly go to bed and go right to sleep, but he's up several times a night crying. She explained that kids like Logan are living at 200% all day, pumped full of adrenaline, and just can't seem to settle themselves down at night. I think its common for kids with sensory issues to also have night terrors and other sleep issues. These are the kids who grow up to be race car drivers and figher pilots, always seeking thrills and pushing limits. Which is a bit scary to think about as he gets older, but these kids also grow up to be super ambitious, Type A's, and that isn't always a bad thing. We can already see he is fiercely competitive with Dylan and tries his damnedess to do whatever Dylan does. And most of the time can do it, even if it results in injury along the way.
Anyway, as we sat and talked to the OT, so much began to make sense. Kids can be hyper- or hypo- sensitive. Often kids with sensory issues tend to hate anything that makes them dizzy. Logan hates to swing. Often these kids also have issues with food textures. Logan hates pasta, won't even eat macaroni and cheese. She said these kids can prefer foods that are much more extreme in textures - like crunchy and super sour or sweet - rather than mushy squishy things. He could make a meal out of garlic croutons, tangerines and maple sausage.
There are 7 areas of sense that can be affected. Many of these I don't believe Logan has an issue with including: tactile (touch), auditory, visual, proprioceptive (fine motor dexterity) and olfactory (smell). But I believe he may have issues with vestibular (balance and body space awareness), and taste. He walks taking very heavy, hard steps. She said its because he needs the extra stimulation through his joints and neurons to get his body to do what he needs it to do.
Its fascinating and also a lot to absorb. The good news is many kids grow out of these sensory issues as they mature. The earlier you begin addressing the issues, the better. So the OT is coming back Monday morning to set up a 'sensory diet' (nothing to do with food) for us to work into his days. And hopefully doing this, along with speech therapy and getting him more and more words, and continuing to shape his behavior with consistent discipline, we will watch him blossom. Sometimes kids with this condition are diagnosed with ADHD and other disorders later in life. But the early intervention we are seeking for him will help us help him the best we can, and that's all we can do. In the future, especially when he starts school, we will know to watch for signs of learning and attention issues. I'm glad to know now. Maybe it will be an issue and maybe it won't, but I'd rather know what could be ahead so we can continue to help him.
He really is a delightful little guy. He's so friendly and affectionate and social. I would love to see him get to a place where his days are full of more laughter and less crying. I'm just so incredibly grateful we have such a network of people helping us help him. Thank goodness we live in a time where people understand the need for early intervention and thank goodness we were able to finally convince them that he needed their help. Together, we will change his little life for the better, I just know it.
However, very early on we noticed Logan was, to use a broad term, strong willed. It wasn't just that we needed to start putting him in time-outs pretty much from the time he started walking. It wasn't just that he seemed to tantrum at the drop of a hat mutiple times a day. It wasn't that you could almost never put him in a stroller or exersaucer and expect him to stay happy for more than two minutes. It wasn't just that he will only eat particular foods. It wasn't just that he seems act out with aggressive behaviors like hitting and biting. Its so many more things. I've written several times before that we are having him seen at Kennedy Krieger by a child psychologist/behavioralist. Initially we talked to our pediatrician about concerns of speech delay but its really evolved into more behavioral related issues. We are both firm believers that the earlier you can shape your children's behavior to what is acceptable, the easier it will be in the long run for everyone. And ultimately, the happier your child and whole family will be. So we have been trying to find help for him and taking the bits and pieces of information that seem to make the most sense and applying them to our life with him.
We are in the thick of dealing with his various behaviors right now and it isn't easy. And one thing we are pursuing for him is occupational therapy. Up until this week, when the occupational therapist came, I had very little understanding of what is it they do. But as we sat and talked with her and answered her questions about Logan, it all started making sense. It was, to quote Oprah, an "Ah ha!" moment.
She told us Logan, who has hypotonia (low muscle tone), also has an immature sensory system, which is formally called sensory processing disorder. He has very little control over his impulses (common for his age but his is beyond the norm) and as a result, he is living every emotion to its fullest and often can't stop himself from crying. He is also always tripping and running into things, and is generally just very clumsy. This is also related to underdeveloped sensory systems.
He has also always been a poor sleeper. He'll willingly go to bed and go right to sleep, but he's up several times a night crying. She explained that kids like Logan are living at 200% all day, pumped full of adrenaline, and just can't seem to settle themselves down at night. I think its common for kids with sensory issues to also have night terrors and other sleep issues. These are the kids who grow up to be race car drivers and figher pilots, always seeking thrills and pushing limits. Which is a bit scary to think about as he gets older, but these kids also grow up to be super ambitious, Type A's, and that isn't always a bad thing. We can already see he is fiercely competitive with Dylan and tries his damnedess to do whatever Dylan does. And most of the time can do it, even if it results in injury along the way.
Anyway, as we sat and talked to the OT, so much began to make sense. Kids can be hyper- or hypo- sensitive. Often kids with sensory issues tend to hate anything that makes them dizzy. Logan hates to swing. Often these kids also have issues with food textures. Logan hates pasta, won't even eat macaroni and cheese. She said these kids can prefer foods that are much more extreme in textures - like crunchy and super sour or sweet - rather than mushy squishy things. He could make a meal out of garlic croutons, tangerines and maple sausage.
There are 7 areas of sense that can be affected. Many of these I don't believe Logan has an issue with including: tactile (touch), auditory, visual, proprioceptive (fine motor dexterity) and olfactory (smell). But I believe he may have issues with vestibular (balance and body space awareness), and taste. He walks taking very heavy, hard steps. She said its because he needs the extra stimulation through his joints and neurons to get his body to do what he needs it to do.
Its fascinating and also a lot to absorb. The good news is many kids grow out of these sensory issues as they mature. The earlier you begin addressing the issues, the better. So the OT is coming back Monday morning to set up a 'sensory diet' (nothing to do with food) for us to work into his days. And hopefully doing this, along with speech therapy and getting him more and more words, and continuing to shape his behavior with consistent discipline, we will watch him blossom. Sometimes kids with this condition are diagnosed with ADHD and other disorders later in life. But the early intervention we are seeking for him will help us help him the best we can, and that's all we can do. In the future, especially when he starts school, we will know to watch for signs of learning and attention issues. I'm glad to know now. Maybe it will be an issue and maybe it won't, but I'd rather know what could be ahead so we can continue to help him.
He really is a delightful little guy. He's so friendly and affectionate and social. I would love to see him get to a place where his days are full of more laughter and less crying. I'm just so incredibly grateful we have such a network of people helping us help him. Thank goodness we live in a time where people understand the need for early intervention and thank goodness we were able to finally convince them that he needed their help. Together, we will change his little life for the better, I just know it.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
airplanes!
Another busy week and I'll need to sit down and write an entry on our first occupational therapy evaluation for Logan. But for now, I thought I'd quickly post about a cool thing we did today. I set up a tour of the local commuter airport for our MOMS Club, and they agreed to let us bring our children and show us around, answer the kids questions, etc.. They even let the kids each have a turn sitting in the cockpit of a little plane! The kids thought it was super cool!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
let there be films
Its been raining for three days. This does not make two little boys who want nothing but to play outside very happy. So Sunday, Dylan and I took a little field trip together and saw Horton Hears a Who . Very cute indeed. We would have taken Logan but I'm guessing it will be at least a good year before he is movie theater ready. But I was amazed how many babies were there, screaming through the whole thing at 2 in the afternoon.
Andrew and I have been going down the list of last years' Oscar winning and nominated films. Not many comedies last year. A few weeks ago, we watched Atonement, which is beautiful but tragic. Then we watched Juno - the only light hearted one in the mix. Then Michael Clayton - good and who doesn't like George Clooney? The past two nights we've watched No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood. Not a single one of these movies (with the exception of Michael Clayton) had endings that were acceptable in my opinion. Where was last year's There's Something About Mary? But can I just say, whoever invented the concept of of Redbox is brilliant? Brilliant. I don't see how Blockbuster can stay in business for much longer with them around. Who is out there paying $4.50 a movie when you can rent the same movie for $1 and only have to drive as far as your closest grocery store which you have to shop at anyway?
Moving on...
While eating his lunch of tomato soup filled with floating, soggy Goldfish crackers and croutons, Dylan just randomly asked me who our lawyers are, and when I told him we don't have lawyers he replied "well mommy, we're going to be needing some." Random. I hope its not some sort of psychic prediction.
Logan added another word last night - Help. It sounds more like 'elp' but that is definitely what he is saying because he signs it at the same time.
Andrew and I have been going down the list of last years' Oscar winning and nominated films. Not many comedies last year. A few weeks ago, we watched Atonement, which is beautiful but tragic. Then we watched Juno - the only light hearted one in the mix. Then Michael Clayton - good and who doesn't like George Clooney? The past two nights we've watched No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood. Not a single one of these movies (with the exception of Michael Clayton) had endings that were acceptable in my opinion. Where was last year's There's Something About Mary? But can I just say, whoever invented the concept of of Redbox is brilliant? Brilliant. I don't see how Blockbuster can stay in business for much longer with them around. Who is out there paying $4.50 a movie when you can rent the same movie for $1 and only have to drive as far as your closest grocery store which you have to shop at anyway?
Moving on...
While eating his lunch of tomato soup filled with floating, soggy Goldfish crackers and croutons, Dylan just randomly asked me who our lawyers are, and when I told him we don't have lawyers he replied "well mommy, we're going to be needing some." Random. I hope its not some sort of psychic prediction.
Logan added another word last night - Help. It sounds more like 'elp' but that is definitely what he is saying because he signs it at the same time.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
the week in photos
How is it already the weekend? That's what happens when the weather gets nice and we're constantly outside. Here is a random rundown of our week with a few photos to go along!
Monday - Dylan's official birthday day started off with some homemade banana pancakes slathered in whipped cream and cherries.
This was followed by spending a great day with Grandma Lynn and a yummy lunch. I'm not exactly sure what Logan is looking at on the ceiling?
Tuesday and Wednesday - school, lots of playing outside and Logan's first speech therapy session. He seems to be adding a couple of new words each week. Two new words this week - cheese and juice. And signing for 'help'. He is also very adamantly saying 'yes' and 'no' when asked questions. Its amazing how just those two little words have really eased his frustration level with his communication.
Thursday - Grandpa Joe came to visit for one night and we took full advantage of the great weather with some backyard playtime and grilling!
Friday - a trip to Baltimore for Logan's Kennedy Krieger appointment. His therapist agrees he is making great progress not only with his language and communication but also with his temperament. He is using signs and attempting to say words or at least the first syllable of the word, and this is huge progress since even one month ago. You can tell he's proud of himself, and we're so happy to see him less frustrated.Saturday morning - soccer. The teams were visited by the DC United mascot 'Talon' today during training. Logan was enthralled by him and followed him all over the fields.
Today - mulching and later today - neighborhood bbq with kids running wild, and hopefully a few cocktails.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
heavy thoughts at five
Today, Dylan asked "Mommy, are you getting old?" I thought carefully and replied "Well, yes. I'm getting a little older all the time, and so are you. Everyday we all get a little tiny bit older. Why?" Dylan said "I don't want you to get old Mommy. I don't want you to die." Wow. I thought again and said "Well honey, I'm not going to die for a very, very long time. I will be here with you for lots and lots of years." That seemed to satisfy him for the moment..
Tonight at bathtime he brought it up again to both me and Andrew. He said, "I don't want you both to die." And we both assured him we will all be together for a long, long time. His little eyes welled with tears and he said "I want to take care of you so that you don't die." I said "Well you can take care of us, and we will take care of you. We'll have lots and lots of years together to be happy and you don't need to worry or feel sad."
I'm not sure where these questions are coming from, or how much he really understands about death. We are very careful not to watch the news when he is awake so he doesn't hear about things that are confusing and scary. I don't remember when I realized people don't live forever or wondering about what happens to people after they die. Its a little piece of innocence taken. Realizing that sometimes life is sad and its just part of being human. I hope I can assure him that for the time we all have here together, we do our best to love each other and be happy and that's the best life anyone can have.
Its so amazing to spend these days with my children and watch them learn and grow. Part of me wants to stop time and hold onto them as they are right now, but part of me can't wait to see what they will be like tomorrow and the day after that. I know that I can face growing older having these two beautiful children in my life because they make life matter. They will always help me feel young.
Tonight at bathtime he brought it up again to both me and Andrew. He said, "I don't want you both to die." And we both assured him we will all be together for a long, long time. His little eyes welled with tears and he said "I want to take care of you so that you don't die." I said "Well you can take care of us, and we will take care of you. We'll have lots and lots of years together to be happy and you don't need to worry or feel sad."
I'm not sure where these questions are coming from, or how much he really understands about death. We are very careful not to watch the news when he is awake so he doesn't hear about things that are confusing and scary. I don't remember when I realized people don't live forever or wondering about what happens to people after they die. Its a little piece of innocence taken. Realizing that sometimes life is sad and its just part of being human. I hope I can assure him that for the time we all have here together, we do our best to love each other and be happy and that's the best life anyone can have.
Its so amazing to spend these days with my children and watch them learn and grow. Part of me wants to stop time and hold onto them as they are right now, but part of me can't wait to see what they will be like tomorrow and the day after that. I know that I can face growing older having these two beautiful children in my life because they make life matter. They will always help me feel young.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Happy Birthday Dylan
Dear Dylan,
Today you turned five years old. Every year on your birthday, I look at the clock at different times of the day and remember what point of labor I was in that sunny spring day you were born. You arrived at 6:06 pm, a healthy and robust 8 lbs, 6 oz. The nurse laid you on my stomach and I finally got to see you for the very first time, and my life was changed forever. In that instant, I felt so much love for you it filled my heart until I thought it would burst a million times over.
Last night, I pulled out the journal that I kept during my pregnancy with you and re-read it. I've only read it a couple of times since you were born and I intend to give it to you someday when you're older. I began writing it the day I learned you were going to join our family - July 29, 2002. I go on through the weeks and months to describe all of my feelings about being pregnant, learning you were a boy, deciding your name, feeling you move, and the story of how you came into this world.
Every day of these past five years with you has been a gift. You have brought so much love into our lives. You are such a smart, funny, creative, generous and kind little boy. You make us laugh everyday, and you teach us the meaning of love and patience. I love spending my days with you. I know you won't always want to hang out with your mommy, so I treasure this time we have now and our adventures together. I am a lucky, lucky mom to have you as my son.
This past year you've changed so much. You've mastered all of your letters and their sounds. You learned how to write your name and you're well on your way to learning to write the other letters. You've become so independent, even asking yesterday at a store to use the men's room all by yourself for the first time. You make friends so easily and keep them, because you're compassionate and fun and polite. And you're such a good big brother. Logan loves you so much and you're so good at sharing with him and making sure he is safe. You always look out for him at the park and you're sure to tell the other older kids to 'be careful of my little brother'.
This isn't to say you can't be challenging at times. You have a stubborn streak for sure, and you're very particular about what you will and won't eat. You get into a zone when playing a video game and I worry that someday you will be the twelve year old in our basement playing Playstation and we'll never see you. You're very active and sitting still only happens if you are sleeping or watching TV. You've certainly had your share of wacky interests in your life so far. For two years, you had to bring your red electric guitar everywhere we went and you even were invited to play on stage with bands at some wine festivals we attended. You were obsesssed with chapstick and candles for a while and had to sleep with both. Last year everyday when you came home from preschool, we had to spend hours in the backyard digging up worms.
Best of all though, is that you tell us everyday how much you love us. And I'll say "But I love you more!". And you'll respond very seriously, "No mommy, I love you more." And I'll say "But I love you all way to the moon and back!!". And you think about this for a moment and laugh and say "ME TOO!!".
Happy Birthday, my sweet little boy.
Love,
Mommy
Mommy
Sunday, April 13, 2008
A Scoobalicious Fifth Birthday Party
The weather more than cooperated yesterday for Dylan's party. Some of us even left with our first sunburn of the season. The kids were filthy, tired and full of junk by the end of it all - all signs of a good time I think. His birthday day is actually tomorrow, but I wanted to post some party photos today. Thanks to Melissa at the farm, and our great friends and family for spending their Saturday with us and making Dylan's birthday so special. He is overwhelmed by all the great gifts and I don't think we'll be leaving the house anytime soon!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Birthday Weekend, Happy Friday
We are gearing up for Dylan's birthday party tomorrow. He turns five on Monday! His party is at a farm, and there might be some rainy weather to deal with, but its all good. We are rain or shine kind of people.
He has been anticipating his party for months and the day will finally arrive. I hope to have lots of great photos to post here at some point soon after the festivities. We got him a big boy Razor scooter, new skateboard style helmet, and elbow/knee pads. I think we'll let him open the party gifts Saturday and then the gifts from us on Monday so we can stretch it out. We usually decorate his doorway after he goes to sleep the night before his birthday, so when he wakes on his birthday day, he can walk through streamers and crepe paper, and come down to a special chocolate chip pancake breakfast with a chair full of balloons.
Fun times!
He has been anticipating his party for months and the day will finally arrive. I hope to have lots of great photos to post here at some point soon after the festivities. We got him a big boy Razor scooter, new skateboard style helmet, and elbow/knee pads. I think we'll let him open the party gifts Saturday and then the gifts from us on Monday so we can stretch it out. We usually decorate his doorway after he goes to sleep the night before his birthday, so when he wakes on his birthday day, he can walk through streamers and crepe paper, and come down to a special chocolate chip pancake breakfast with a chair full of balloons.
Fun times!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
K is for Kindergarten
Today was kindergarten registration day, and I got Dylan all signed up. I look at my first baby boy and can't believe in a few short months he will be riding the school bus, making new friends and having homework! Where we live is still half day, and its likely he'll be an afternoon kindergartener. So we can put off getting up at the crack of dawn for one more year. We are so excited about the elementary school he'll be attending. Its new, and the staff, facility and programs are all top notch. They are inviting all kindergarten parents to the school towards the end May one evening for an orientation. The kids will get to tour the school and classrooms while parents meet teachers and hear about the curriculum. Then they even get to take a school bus ride around the community!
Dylan is ready to start right now. In fact while I was there registering today, the staff member told him he could walk around and check things out. I finished up the paperwork and Logan and I set off to find Dylan. We ended up having to enlist a few helpers because he couldn't be found anywhere. Finally, a man from Reptile World (who was there to do an assembly later today) saw Dylan on the playgroup with the big kids. He was just making himself at home. So typical for him - he is a child who has no problem with new situations and experiences. He just jumps in with both feet all by himself and doesn't look back, and makes tons of friends along the way. I love that about his personality. I was so much more timid and shy at his age.
In the packet today, there are 28 things listed that your child should be able to do before school begins, and he is doing them all already. But I think there are other things we need to work on before kindergarten begins:
1. Writing more of his letters
2. Learning his phone number and address (honestly this one I've been avoiding sort of on purpose - he is so chatty with everyone and before I know it he could forget the 'stranger' rule and be inviting people over to visit us)
3. Learning to eat faster - he is the world's slowest eater and at school they won't let him have an hour to eat a cheese quesadilla. In kindergarten they don't eat a meal at school - just a snack - so we have a while to work on this one.
I'm so excited for him. I know school is going to be a great experience and time of his life. I know I will shed some tears his first week; its so bittersweet to watch your babies grow up. I'm so proud to be his mommy!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
recipe for a headache
Recipe yield: serves one.
- 1 load of urine soaked clothing
- 15 minutes of grocery store parking lot tantrum
- 1 dash of calling mommy 'stupid'
- 20 minutes of sitting in rush hour traffic with two kids well past their regular dinner time
- one small hit from angry, hungry toddler
- a small apology from almost five year old for earlier tantrum
- a squirt of jalapeno juice in my eye trying to rush to make dinner
- more jalapeno juice under my fingernail burning no matter how many times I wash my hands
Stir all ingredients together vigorously and top with endless drizzly cold days.
Maybe tomorrow will be more of a peach.
Monday, April 7, 2008
down on the farm
Yesterday, despite the rain and chilly weather, we took the kids here. Its a beautiful 300 acre family-owned farm at the base of the Blue Ridge Mountains. 200 acres is a working farm and they grow every fruit and vegetable imaginable. The other 100 acres is a vineyard high up on a hill with a tasting room that overlooks miles and mile of the Loudoun Valley. Its breathtaking. The farm offers hay rides, animals, pedal tractors, rope swings, mazes, fishing, u-pick produce, and so much more. Yesterday was their opening day with a marshmallow roast and egg hunts. And although we are still washing the mud off our boots, pants, socks, and coats, it was all totally worth it.
Friday, April 4, 2008
let them be kids
I never thought I'd be the mommy of two boys. When I was in my 20's and thought about having kids of my own someday, I always envisioned having a little girl. And probably a little boy, too. But definitely at least one girl. Someone to play Barbies with, and play dress up, and go shopping and do all that mother-daughter stuff that I have always loved doing with my mom. But both times, we learned we were having boys, and the tea parties and princess dresses I envisioned were replaced with Star Wars figures and Thomas the Train. And let me emphasize, I simply can't imagine it any other way now. I'm so glad Dylan and Logan have each other, and everyday is amazing to watch them grow closer and love each other. They are both amazing and I could not possibly love them more than I do. We are almost positive we are a two child maximum kind of family. So there will be no daughters.
In retrospect, I think I'm much better equipped to handle the more physical nature of raising boys. I hear horror stories (already) of friends with girls and the drama that can arise over little things and then linger for hours. With boys, they seem to blow up and forget about it five minutes later. Yes, I am pretty much constantly in a state of sweatiness from chasing them or wrestling. But there really isn't a lot of on-going drama.
In some ways, I think raising boys is infinitely easier than raising girls. At least until they reach driving age. And I already have nightmares about my guys ever being behind the wheel and if given the opportunity, would support any law raising the driving age to say .... 32? But really what I'm mostly talking about here is body image. I think we live in a society that places a huge emphasis on the importance of exterior perfection and parents of little girls, I have to think, are faced more directly with these issues. I came across this article today and it really got to me. Painting your daughters nails? Fine. Ears pierced? Fine. Getting chemical treatments to lighten her hair at age 9, or getting her a bikini wax at 11 - not fine. Microdermabrasion at age 10 - you've got to be kidding. What's next? Botox birthday parties? Little girls are getting their periods younger and younger. There is no need to rush them past years of slumber parties and braces. What will happen if we stop telling our kids, its okay if you aren't perfect?
In retrospect, I think I'm much better equipped to handle the more physical nature of raising boys. I hear horror stories (already) of friends with girls and the drama that can arise over little things and then linger for hours. With boys, they seem to blow up and forget about it five minutes later. Yes, I am pretty much constantly in a state of sweatiness from chasing them or wrestling. But there really isn't a lot of on-going drama.
In some ways, I think raising boys is infinitely easier than raising girls. At least until they reach driving age. And I already have nightmares about my guys ever being behind the wheel and if given the opportunity, would support any law raising the driving age to say .... 32? But really what I'm mostly talking about here is body image. I think we live in a society that places a huge emphasis on the importance of exterior perfection and parents of little girls, I have to think, are faced more directly with these issues. I came across this article today and it really got to me. Painting your daughters nails? Fine. Ears pierced? Fine. Getting chemical treatments to lighten her hair at age 9, or getting her a bikini wax at 11 - not fine. Microdermabrasion at age 10 - you've got to be kidding. What's next? Botox birthday parties? Little girls are getting their periods younger and younger. There is no need to rush them past years of slumber parties and braces. What will happen if we stop telling our kids, its okay if you aren't perfect?
Thursday, April 3, 2008
haircuts and old people
Today was haircut day. Our boys both love getting their haircut, and thank goodness because of my short hair and theirs we need to go about every five weeks. As we were getting ready to leave, a little girl about four came in with her parents, screaming bloody murder "I DON'T WANT A HAIRCUT!!!!!" If I had to go through that every five weeks, I'd need medication. That girl was traumatized and she wanted no part of letting those scissors near her coiffe. If that were my child, she'd have a Crystal Gayle hair-do by the time she was six. Because no hair cut is worth that kind of screaming. Logan is just in it for the lollipop at the end. He will lick that Dum-Dum, even with hair stuck all over it, until its nothing but a soggy stick. Dylan, meanwhile, is much more a conversationalist with his stylist. "Did you know I go to preschool? Yea, I'm almost five so next year I'll go to Ian's school. Today we're going to a house where the old people live because nobody visits them. I'm going to a hockey game tonight. I have big muscles. Want to feel them?" The stylist speaks very little English, but it doesn't matter to Dylan. He has a captive audience. Just like the time we were stuck at Costco for three hours getting new tires on the car, and he invited all the other people waiting on their cars to come to our house afterwards and have brownies with us.
By the way, we are going to a senior citizen home today with MOMS Club to visit the residents. I was trying to find a way to explain the concept to him today without sounding scary, and what he took away was that we have to go because no one else visits them. Then he wanted to know if he could bring his V-Smile and plug it into their TV, because mommy, I think the old people will like to play Go Diego video games. There will be a roomful of 1 - 7 year old kids and I have a feeling by the time we all leave, those senior citizens are all going to need martinis. I know I will!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Possum Golf: A Primer on Effective Play
Possum golf is not my favorite activity, but sometimes a necessary event. The rules are simple, get that varmint off your back deck. What to wear is optional, but since it is usually an unplanned outing, no need for prêt a porter, in my case bare feet and PJs were adequate enough. Time is never to your advantage since those needle toothed bastards happen to be nocturnal, so 2:30 am is as good a time as any to start a new sport. Club selection is not a matter of choice but more of convenience. I grabbed my back-up sand wedge that happened to be in the coat closet for such critter emergencies. A flashlight is standard issue as these beady eyed rodents can easily be fooled by bright light. Deer laugh at these filthy marsupials for how easily they are arrested by a shining beam. In this man versus nature scenario I have two advantages. The first is keen intellect, opposable thumbs, and the knowledge of cutlery. The second most important thing going for me is the confidence that this particular possum has never seen my golf swing. I am assured that it has no idea that the safest place for all of God’s creatures is directly in front of me when I am clutching my Billy Barule.
Now your goal is not to kill this lost wayward ruffian. He just wants some kibble. If his night will be complete with a bowl full of Happy Cat, then who am I to make his night worse with a wood shampoo. Your object in possum golf to assist your intruder to make a timely exit. Keep the light in his eye and “guide” him with your club of choice. As mentioned I used my sand-wedge with an open face grip to maximize surface area, and minimize the need to strike. A driver would be better, length wise, but remember, opportunity trumps comfort. Plus I can blog the words “open face possum sand wedge” hoping those in the rural south will stumble across this post looking for a recipe for leftover road kill.
Of course possum and their ilk are stubborn. He did not want to leave. At first stoke, he quickly scurried to the corner. I tried to coral him with the blade until he wedged himself (I guess it was a him) between the balusters of the deck with a screen blocking his escape. He remained motionless, I guess this was the fabled playing possum defense mechanism, woefully inadequate but then again his normal enemies are barely sentient. I finally pried him from this posture only to be face to face with a snarling, guttural sounding rat with a bad haircut. A few more taps of cold steel to the noggin got him going toward the doggie door that got him into this predicament. But in is blindness he would not go through. With one hand on club, the other with flashlight, I used my leg to sidekick open the screen door. Failing to realize an escape, a few more strokes emancipated our rabid intruder into the cold darkness that is the DC suburbs. He scurried under the deck never to return, at least as of a week.
Not setting a par for this hole, I notched about a dozen strokes, nothing too hurtful, but from its menacing patter, effectively annoying to the four legged kibble thief.
As in most golf events I had a gallery of onlookers, a very interested dog and two equally disinterested cats, both of whom dwarf the scavenger, but are too fat and lazy to defend their rations. However if I had to eat generic cat food, only to barf it up later, I wouldn’t care either. No animals were harmed in this event, maybe ticked off, but not hurt.
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