Friday, April 4, 2008

let them be kids

I never thought I'd be the mommy of two boys. When I was in my 20's and thought about having kids of my own someday, I always envisioned having a little girl. And probably a little boy, too. But definitely at least one girl. Someone to play Barbies with, and play dress up, and go shopping and do all that mother-daughter stuff that I have always loved doing with my mom. But both times, we learned we were having boys, and the tea parties and princess dresses I envisioned were replaced with Star Wars figures and Thomas the Train. And let me emphasize, I simply can't imagine it any other way now. I'm so glad Dylan and Logan have each other, and everyday is amazing to watch them grow closer and love each other. They are both amazing and I could not possibly love them more than I do. We are almost positive we are a two child maximum kind of family. So there will be no daughters.

In retrospect, I think I'm much better equipped to handle the more physical nature of raising boys. I hear horror stories (already) of friends with girls and the drama that can arise over little things and then linger for hours. With boys, they seem to blow up and forget about it five minutes later. Yes, I am pretty much constantly in a state of sweatiness from chasing them or wrestling. But there really isn't a lot of on-going drama.

In some ways, I think raising boys is infinitely easier than raising girls. At least until they reach driving age. And I already have nightmares about my guys ever being behind the wheel and if given the opportunity, would support any law raising the driving age to say .... 32? But really what I'm mostly talking about here is body image. I think we live in a society that places a huge emphasis on the importance of exterior perfection and parents of little girls, I have to think, are faced more directly with these issues. I came across this article today and it really got to me. Painting your daughters nails? Fine. Ears pierced? Fine. Getting chemical treatments to lighten her hair at age 9, or getting her a bikini wax at 11 - not fine. Microdermabrasion at age 10 - you've got to be kidding. What's next? Botox birthday parties? Little girls are getting their periods younger and younger. There is no need to rush them past years of slumber parties and braces. What will happen if we stop telling our kids, its okay if you aren't perfect?

2 comments:

Sarah said...

Oh geez...you hit a hot topic for me. I think you are right about the boy being easier in that department. As a mom of a girl, I feel like you have to be SUPER SELF AWARE of the goings-on around your little girl re: body image, what you say, words you use, etc. I am hyper-vigilant about it. My neighbor just told me that at her pediatrician's the other day, they looked at her 8-year-old's BMI and told her to "watch it" because she is "on the cusp of being on the cusp of the overweight range." WTF? Ridiculous....o.k. sorry...
:)

Julie said...

I echo Sarah's comments... I too have a girl and while she's only 3(!) drama has already come to roost at 419 Victoria. It's definitely hard somedays for sure. I fear, dare I say DREAD, the preteens!