and this is where I flash the middle finger

You just gotta love insurance companies.

M: "Hi, yes, I'm calling to see if our insurance covers a specific procedure (description follows)?"

Reply: "We aren't allowed to disclose that information. All I can do is direct you to our website, where you can look up our clinical policy bulletin. I'm not allowed to interpret that for you, you'll have to do that on your own."

M: ***** speechless ******** "So, let me make sure I understand. You're telling me you can't tell me I'm covered or I'm not covered for such and such procedure. I have to read words on your website and intrepret them myself. So basically what this means is you have a gigantic loophole meaning you basically won't have to cover anything if I intrepret it the wrong way?"

Reply: ****** silence ********* "Yes, you're going to have to go to our website ma'am."

You've got to be f-ing kidding me, right.

M: "What if I don't have internet access?"

Reply: "Do you have a public library near you?"

M: "What if this was 30 years ago, and there was no internet? Would I then be able to have an actual person answer my actual question, which by the way, seems pretty darn black and white to me?"

Reply: ******** silence ********* "Ma'am is there anything else I can help you with?"

M: "Considering I didn't really get much help in the first place, I'd say this call is over."