desperation

I'm too brain dead this week to come up with anything other than a list of weekly highlights. We are seriously beyond sleep deprived these days and things have come of kind to a head (see bullet point #1).

1. Logan, at 2 1/2, has hardly ever slept through the night. I've ranted about this many times. Its just become part of our life with him, and unfortunately we're used to it. However, things have gotten really bad lately. We took his pacifier away last week, and every night has been pure hell. We've finally come to the realization that a) this sleeping pattern is NOT normal and b) it is affecting our ability to function and c) something serious has to be done. We need to find out WHY he doesn't sleep all night and WHAT we can do about it. We've mentioned this to many doctors along the way, and we've always been told its behavioral. So we've tried everything they've told us to do. We've even been medicating him at night with melatonin and Benadryl out of pure desperation. We've put him back in a pack n play and out of his bed, just to see if some confinement would help. Nothing works. He wakes up, he screams, he jumps out of the pack n play mulitple times a night, and he bangs on his door to get out. I've spent the entire week researching, calling, emailing and meeting with our pediatrician, to ultimately find a doctor who specializes in sleep disorders in young children. Because at this point, I'm pretty much convinced there HAS to be a physiological reason he is waking and can't fall back to sleep. I finally seem to have tracked down a needle in a haystack doctor (there seem to be NO doctors in the DC Metro area who deal with sleepless 2 1/2 year olds), who has 33 years of experience dealing with sleep issues in young children. The bad news is, he is in Baltimore and Frederick, MD. So on January 8th, I will drive Logan an hour to see him and we'll see what happens. This doctor may very well schedule a sleep study for Logan, and if so, it would be done overnight at St. Joesph's hospital in Baltimore at some point over the winter. But at this point we'll do whatever it takes to get some answers. If someone tells me to adorn his room with chicken feet and dance the wala wala, I will do it. Desperate for sleep does not begin to describe it. There are days my head hurts so badly all day long, and I know its because my sleep cycle is completely out of whack. Andrew sees the chiropractor on a weekly basis, due to stress caused by lack of sleep. And we really have to believe a lot of Logan's behavior issues and hourly meltdowns have to do with pure lack of sleep. We need a solution so life can get better.

2. Logan has decided he loves Campbells Cars chicken noodle soup. And peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And this is pretty much all he eats, all day long. And he wants to spread the jelly himself, and eat the soup without any help. So you can imagine what our kitchen looks like on a daily basis. When he isn't eating soup or making sandwiches, he is completely destroying the rest of the house. He is a whirlwind of destruction. I love him. I do. But children who are two really need to come with a designated maid.

3. I have been busy doing work for my part time marketing job and fitting it in when I can. Which is basically during Logan's nap time. Its a total juggling act but I'm happy I've found a way to make some money on the side when I can work it in.

4. Dylan recieved his third Sunshine Award this year at school this week. The kids have to be extra special good to earn this award and she doesn't hand them out easily. I'm so proud of how he's handled starting school. He's making new friends, and we've had some of them over to play lately. Its really cute to watch his social life expand. He has one more week of school next week before winter break begins. I'm wondering how we'll fill our days in between Christmas and New Years, when the days are cold and long. Note to self: research ideas on this soon!

5. As I've mentioned, we began the process of seeing if Logan is eligible to attend preschool early through the county school system. He would recieve more help with his speech and occupational therapies, and I think putting him in a structured setting several mornings a week would be a really positive thing for him. In order to determine if he is eligible, the county has to have a number of therapists, social workers and psychiatrists evaluate him. Next week alone, he has four appointments. This process will take until sometime in February, and then we'll know if he can attend preschool, or if we need to pursue private preschool for him for next fall.


Its all a little overwhelming right now. Pile the holidays on top of it all and its easy to lose sight of the simple pleasures of life. I've been trying to finish up holiday shopping, start the wrapping, do some baking and read the Twilight book series (I'm on #2 - ADDICTIVE). Andrew makes fun because the intended audience for these books are girls around 15, but they've become all the rage with women my age too. He asks if I'm going to start getting into the Jonas Brothers next. But I don't care. With everything I have going on, I need a mindless distraction to take me away from it all, even if only for a few minutes each evening.