halfway

We're midway through Spring Break week.  We opted for a staycation, full of local daytrips and adventures and surprises.   I had big ideas, big plans.  We'd sleep in, go wherever the wind blew us, see friends, play games, and just be in the moment.

I was high.

The truth is, life with kids...especially young kids....especially two young boys, I've come to believe; is totally unpredictable, full of close calls, near disasters, and moments that can make you think you're losing your mind.  Moments that make you wonder how much more you can take before you just open the bottle of vodka and pour it straight down your throat. 

Case in point.   Yesterday, rain was predicted.  (Did it rain?  No. It was sunny with blue skies, but don't even get me started.)  So we planned to meet my Mom for lunch, and then take the boys bowling.  Upon arrival at the restaurant, Logan's mood went from "super duper" to "I'm going to make your life a living hell" in about 3 seconds.   I had to physically remove him from the restaurant three times to try and diffuse the meltdown.  I don't even remember now what kicked it off, but I'm sure the people sitting at the tables around us won't forget us anytime soon.   We finally got him settled down, and proceeded to have a fun time bowling.  But upon arrival at home, he had another meltdown and by the time he went to bed last night, I collapsed into bed and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Today, we had plans to go to the National Zoo in DC with one of our neighbors.  We woke up early to get into the city.   Early bird gets the parking right?  Its the first nice weather day of spring break, and as we pulled into the zoo, about a BAZILLION people were pulling in at the same time.  We finally got a spot and started to navigate the (very hilly, very, very crowded) zoo.  Many of the exhibits are under construction and the animals who are there weren't all that into being watched and were hiding.  We did catch the orangutan's walking the ropes above the walking paths, and saw some cool tigers, and crocodiles once we forced our way through the masses. We managed to hike all the way up to the top of the park, and suddenly Logan had a very unpredictable, projectile vomit explosion all over the place.  Our zoo day came to an abrupt halt.  Back to the car, navigating through Cherry Blossom traffic for well over an hour to get back to VA.    With fingers crossed he didn't puke all over the car (he didn't).

We managed to save the day later by going for ice cream and getting some bike riding in, as soon as I figured out the vomiting seemed to be a single rogue session.

I guess the point is...parenting is hard.   Its unpredictable.  And you sweat and yell a lot.  You try to be flexible and you can try to predict and plan and expect how things are going to be, and then you can sit back and watch the chaos unroll.   No matter what you think is going to happen, you are always surprised.  Sometimes its a good surprise, surpassing your wildest dreams.   Other times, its gut-wrenching and leaves you with a feeling of defeat so strong its almost unbearable.

But you get up the next day, and you do it all over again.  Because the love you feel for your kids surpasses any other feeling on the planet.  You do it because when everything goes well, its better than winning the lottery.  And honestly, even when things start to fly out of control and you can't seem to make anyone happy, its a chance to learn something, a chance to try to do something better, something different.   Its a chance to show your kids that life isn't always easy, but you can't ever give up.   And its a chance for your kids to show you that it really doesn't matter what we do, as long as we do it together.

We're braving the odds and taking them to the circus tomorrow night.  Fingers crossed for lots of parking, no meltdowns and no puking.