When Dylan was born, I knew our lives were going to change. I just didn't know how, or how much. But I knew I needed to meet some women who were heading into this unchartered mommy territory at the same time I was. We could share breastfeeding horror stories, and sob together in our collective hormonal exhaustion, marvel over poopy diapers and first teeth, and socialize with each other knowing full and well the fun would have to cease by 8 pm bedtimes. So, through our hospital, I learned there was a new mom support group, and I started going when Dylan was two weeks old. There was a moderator and each week we'd sit on the floor for an hour and discuss homemade baby food, baby massage, and acid reflux. On average, there were probably around 20 women per week. And through the weeks and months, there became a core group of us that just totally clicked. We started seeing each other outside of 'group' - First, we all ventured to The Olive Garden every Wednesday for lunch carrying our trillion baby bucket car seats and wondering if our adorable dears would sleep long enough for us to chomp down our salads and breadsticks. Then it turned into Bunco, playdates, parties... then girls nights out, family parties, birthday parties... We set up an online email group and thousands of emails have been exchanged about everything from illnesses to trips, from books to recipes, from parenting philosophies to pop culture. No topic has been off limits. Some of the women work, some of us stay home. Some have moved to different cities. Some I see all the time. The husbands have become friends too. These friends have become a sort of extended family for us.
Almost all of us have had another child somewhere along the line, and those children are going to grow up knowing each other just like our older children do. Most of the older children will be starting kindergarten in the fall, and I'm sure we'll all share the joys and tears together. Through the years there will be so many milestones to share.
These women make me laugh. They inspire me with all sorts of ideas. Every single person in our group brings so much to the table. When someone is going through a hard time, everyone else is there to pick that person up and help them through.
Today, quite a few of us were able to get together and let our kids play. And even through the chaos that just happens naturally when kids run amok, there is just such a sense of "we're all in this parenting thing together". There is no judgement among us. This parenting job can be so hard, and many times these women have rescued my sanity over and over.
These aren't friends that knew me before I was married, or attended our wedding, or roomed with me in college, or went to my high school. But these last five years of my life have brought so many profound changes, and I'm so thankful to have had these 'new mom' friends to enjoy the ride and become such a presence in my life, and in the life of my family.
2 comments:
I am SO glad you have found a great group of new "mom" friends that you share so much with. What a gift. I have found the same thing and it means everything to us now. In fact, I don't know what I would do without them!
Right back at 'ya, sista! You said what I think every day. And what I try to tell every new mom-to-be.
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